Landing in Rishikesh: A Journey Back to Self

The first time I went on a retreat, I had no idea what to expect. It actually wasn’t even my idea. I was invited to attend with a friend, but at the last minute, they couldn’t go.

I thought about canceling, but it was already paid for. I didn’t know anyone else attending, but I hoped I’d make friends. Like many moments before this one, I just leaped and found myself halfway across the world, in India.

I think about that week in Rishikesh often. It was the first time I was doing everything I loved most: traveling, moving my body, connecting with others, and experiencing a new culture. There was time and space for simply being, which, at first, I found unsettling. But as I began to land, my default state of being started to shift. Like turning down the volume on a radio, my thoughts moved away from external perceptions and towards simply being present and aware.

I started to let go of the need to perform, to perfect, and began to settle into my true Self.

That week, I had conversations with people who began as strangers and by the end, felt like lifelong friends. Small talk seamlessly flowed into a deep dive about the meaning of life, the heartbreak of love, and all the experiences that make us all human.

Up until that point, I hadn’t realized how closed off I was. I wasn’t aware of how guarded I kept my heart. I wasn’t conscious of all the events in my life that had wounded and shaped my current state of being. Looking back, I see how performative my existence truly was. Every day was spent worrying about how it looked, rather than how it felt. That week in India began to peel back all the perfectly curated layers I had spent years building and suddenly, I was just there, vulnerable and aware of it all, in this new state of being.

It was earth-shattering, eye-opening, terrifying, and inspiring.

All of this to say, taking a retreat is a decision that can often land in the headspace. We logistically plan out our schedule, our finances, our time off—planning a vacation from the thinking mind. And then, we arrive.

We drop in.

We allow our minds a moment (perhaps for the first time ever in adult life) to take a pause and let go. We begin to unpack, both literally and figuratively, freeing ourselves from the pulls that keep us tethered to old patterns.

And with that freedom, we tune into the body. Our sense of Self drops down into the low belly, the Hara space, and we find ourselves in the spaciousness of true body-mind connection—where our physical, mental, and emotional parts all feel safe and seen.

We come home.